"I am in a bar in Brooklyn\, listening to two men\, my friends\, discuss whether my life is worth living." So begins ChloeÌ Cooper Jones's bold\, revealing account of moving through the w orld in a body that looks different than most. Jones learned early on to f actor "pain calculations" into every plan\, every situation. Born with a r are congenital condition called sacral agenesis which affects both her sta ture and gait\, her pain is physical. But there is also the pain of being judged and pitied for her appearance\, of being dismissed as "less than." The way she has been seen--or not seen--has informed her lens on the world her entire life. She resisted this reality by excelling academically and retreating to "the neutral room in her mind" until it passed. But after un expectedly becoming a mother (in violation of unspoken social taboos about the disabled body)\, something in her shifts\, and Jones sets off on a jo urney across the globe\, reclaiming the spaces she'd been denied\, and den ied herself. From the bars and domestic spaces of her life in Brooklyn to sculpture gardens in Rome\; from film festivals in Utah to a BeyonceÌ c oncert in Milan\; from a tennis tournament in California to the Killing Fi elds of Phnom Penh\, Jones weaves memory\, observation\, experience\, and aesthetic philosophy to probe the myths underlying our standards of \; beauty \;and desirability and interrogates her own complicity in uphol ding those myths.
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